SRC RECAP: Nobody upset over anything at all in 2022 Election

SERG reports on an outcome that’s as historic as it is wholesome.

Something is in the air of this campus, and no, it’s not the smell of sycophantry, but rather the pungent musk of mutual amicability. 


The 2022 USyd SRC Election, which took place over the past few days, has had an unprecedented and completely mind-boggling outcome: not a single person involved – be it candidates, voters, reporters, staff workers, members of the unsuspecting student body, or really anyone at all – seemed to be upset or even a little bit annoyed over anything that has happened! In what has been declared as an almost statistical impossibility by students of STAT2911, all parties involved have unilaterally agreed that they are pleased with not only their own behaviour, but also how everyone else has generally behaved this election cycle.

As the final results were announced, ticket members were reportedly overheard saying that they harbour no grudges towards each other and that they look forward to seeing them around campus. Audiences were left dumbfounded as each candidate continued to treat each other respectfully, honestly and with an uncanny level genuine kindness. Some even complimenting each other’s campaign logos and colourful shirts. Truly bizarre. 

A current Office Bearer of the SRC made the following comment: “I’m sure that all elected candidates will go on to do great things, regardless of their apparent inability to be deceitful, conniving or even, downright dastardly. It will, however, be a shame to see the end of schemes, tricks, cheating, hoodwinking, backstabbing, duping, fooling, Shakespearean ploys, betrayal, blackmail, meltdowns, and even some good old-fashioned Skullduggery, in the god-honoured ring of Student Politics.”

They went on to state that the SRC is now looking to put into place “radical new” measures to make sure that “this sort of thing never happens again.”. What these measures will look like still remains to be seen.

Hopefully, more to come.

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